Day By Day

 

This whole ordeal has been very tiring. My heart ached for my son as I missed one of his music festival numbers, the very first performance of his that I’ve ever missed. The only song he didn’t take first place home, and I will forever be convinced that it’s because I couldn’t be there to cheer him on. He ended his week with three first places, and one second place. He even earned the Junior Musical Theatre trophy and a couple of scholarships. Pretty damn good considering he only practiced the week before festival. It’s easy to forget these things when your mom is going through brain cancer treatments, but he still went out and did his best, had fun and made me proud.

This was going to be my first week that I stayed with my aunt and uncle for two nights. Much closer to the city, and opportunity to get some real rest as a lack of responsibilities really does make you take it easy. I spent my evenings dozing on the couch, cuddled up to Daisy the Pug and Ruby the Boston Terrier. If you know me at all, pugs are my favourite dog and they make me cry when I get to interact with them. I laid on that couch with that pug and Jesus could’ve taken me then, I was so happy. Think bucket list. I will have my own someday.

Seventeen years together and we haven’t had a whole lot of time away from each other. My husband really minded me being away. He couldn’t sleep. He couldn’t sit still. My bipolar doctor had adjusted my mood stabilizers as I was still struggling with how I spoke to my husband and I was still struggling with feelings of anger. Increasing that dose made it impossible for me not to sleep at night, which was wonderful as I had been waking up every forty-five minutes for weeks. Again, we don’t have a lot of time apart, so this arrangement made us stronger as well. We had an actual chance to miss each other.

Last Monday was a rough one. I had late treatment and a full spinal mri. I also had bloodwork. I opted to get the bloodwork done in my hometown which may have been a mistake. I didn’t recognize anyone in the lab, and the person who took me on was almost certainly new, but I am not the best patient for someone who may be just starting out. I have spaghetti veins that move. It is ridiculously hard to take my blood or put in an IV. After the first lab worker missed four times, they sent me to the next lab worker. She was able to get it but I had already started to bruise.

After a normal treatment session, we went to the next hospital to get the mri done. We were early and didn’t mind waiting. The tech came out and got my paperwork and said everything was running on schedule and I should be going in on time. Forty minutes after my anticipated start time, they finally took me in. They spent another half an hour trying to get an IV in, missing twice. I was grateful that they didn’t make me leave it in, they injected the dye and then took it out. The mri itself lasted an hour. Much longer than they had told us it would. 

We didn’t get home until Nine pm that night. We also had to be back in the city for 8:50 am for my next round of radiation. Wednesday had me back with my aunt and uncle again. My time there goes quite quickly, but by the time I go home, I’m ready to be in my own home again. I did get a call on Friday on my way home from my chemo nurse. She called to tell me they are extending my chemo treatments until the end of the month. That one didn’t make me aa happy camper. I know that the exhaustion is caused from the combo of radiation, chemo and steroids, but I swear as soon as the chemo kicks in, the exhaustion is immediate. 

Had a lovely Mother’s Day weekend with my boys, my daughter is in Alberta with her grandmother. Today marks 19/30 treatments. And at least today they got bloodwork in one try. I’m very tired today so I expect a quiet day. Enjoy your week everyone.