The Life of Riley; A Story of Resilience

  Hello February! Januarys MRI came back with no change, which is excellent. When I first started this journey last year, there had been significant growth between the first MRI and the second. As radiation finished, we continued to see some slight shrinkage or clearer margins. Even though this MRI showed no change, it was still exactly what the doctor was hoping to see. ‘’Congratulations! You’ve finished this chemo cycle and are now in the surveillance period. No treatment for now, just regular MRI’s. As soon as we see something we don’t like the looks of, we will discuss what the next cycle of treatment will look like. But for now, enjoy the time you have.” So I did exactly what I said I was going to do. As each day passes I am feeling more and more like myself. I went back to a Mohawk hairstyle. I promised myself I would spend more time in the kitchen, and if you watch my facebook or snap chat, you will see what I am doing just that. And my skills are only getting better. I’m le...

  June 4th, 2023 was the last time I’ve written anything. I got lucky. I didn’t need the chemo IV infusions. I was able to take the pill for the following 6 months, however the dose was concentrated and much higher, going up again at the 3 month mark. Each month, for 5 consecutive days, I would take the chemo pill. It knocked me down pretty hard. I would just start to rebound after my dose, weeks later, and have to get ready to start the next round of chemo. By the time my dose was upped again in October, there was no comeback before starting the next dose. Permanently exhausted and not always with it, I struggled bad.  The summer was long and hot and the sun wanted to kill me. I felt like I was always surviving in the level of Super Mario where the sun chases you. The humidity and heat waves in general made me physically and violently sick. I turned to marijuana to get me through everything and that was the only time I would go outside during the summer, unless the sun was do...

       When we first started this journey, the end of radiation treatment seemed so far away. 30 sessions might not seem like a lot, especially when you’re having them back to back, Monday through Friday, with the exception of holidays, or machine maintenance, both of which prolonged the treatment, as well as some pretty crazy forest fires. So what should have been finished at the end of my sixth week, ended up being day three of week seven. But I’m a trooper, so let’s carry on. From the moment that I walked into the hospital on the last day, I felt lighter. I have struggled from the start with how I physically feel, with extreme exhaustion. I didn’t think it could get worse than it had been a few weeks ago, but I was wrong. I’ve napped more in the last two weeks than I probably have in my whole life. I am ridiculously ecstatic that I don’t have to wake up at 5am to go and have radiation treatments. It’s crazy how close you become to the staff at the hospital. From t...

  I was always that kid that took the risk, that got that super short pixie cut. I remember being in grade four when Posh Spice decided to rock that super short but fashionable (come on, she’s called Posh Spice for a reason, and she was much favourite) cut. A friend of mine had invited me to a Spice Girls themed birthday party, and you had to come dressed as your favourite Spice Girl. Now, I could have just dyed my hair dark brown and be done with it, but I had to take it to the next level. I walked into that party in that little black dress, jewelry adorning my wrists, neck and ears, and that super short, yet fashionable hair cut that I learned only Victoria Beckham can pull it off. Grade nine hit. I was a music festival kid. I lived and breathed theatre and music for one week a year. That year, for musical theatre, I was given a song from “You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown” with my role being Lucy. Lucy has black hair, and mine was a dark blonde. But do you think I even considered ...

  This whole ordeal has been very tiring. My heart ached for my son as I missed one of his music festival numbers, the very first performance of his that I’ve ever missed. The only song he didn’t take first place home, and I will forever be convinced that it’s because I couldn’t be there to cheer him on. He ended his week with three first places, and one second place. He even earned the Junior Musical Theatre trophy and a couple of scholarships. Pretty damn good considering he only practiced the week before festival. It’s easy to forget these things when your mom is going through brain cancer treatments, but he still went out and did his best, had fun and made me proud. This was going to be my first week that I stayed with my aunt and uncle for two nights. Much closer to the city, and opportunity to get some real rest as a lack of responsibilities really does make you take it easy. I spent my evenings dozing on the couch, cuddled up to Daisy the Pug and Ruby the Boston Terrier. If ...

  When I turned thirty years old, my whole life changed. After spending most of my life questioning why I made bad choices, or hurt people with my words, or overspent money or acted irrationally and impulsively, I finally had a diagnosis. Bipolar type one. If you ask my psychiatrist, It’s clear from my records that I could have been diagnosed at eleven and gotten the help twenty years sooner. Still, at least I had an explanation to everything I had ever done that I couldn’t explain. I knew why I ran high with lots of energy, not sleeping for days on end. I also knew why it physically caused me pain to even crawl out of bed, or even just have a shower. It made sense. We started treatments immediately. Lithium, Seroquil, Xanax, other medications for the restless legs that these medications cause. I also started therapy with my favourite therapist thus far. And trust me, I’ve done a lot of therapy with a lot of different people, but my current therapist is hands down the best fit for ...